The New Guy
by LemonyWickedAwesome
Summary: The Nobel sisters always fight, but what happens when they start a war over over their new fox-faced neighbor. Rated T for Language, mild violence,and there will be pranks. Humor! GinxOFC's
1. Chapter 1

**Lemony:** *shakes head* You know what Birdie Love Buttons...this is all your fault!

**Wicked:** *arches eyebrow* What are you going on about now, Lemony?

**Lemony:** *shakes fists* ITS ALL BIRDIE LOVE BUTTONS FAULT!

**Awesome:** What's her fault, stupid!

**Lemony:** She's the reason for my temporary relapse. Look, DeathsLittleBirdie our little rant on DeviantArt was the inspiration for this story, therefore I blame you.

**Wicked:** *rolls eyes* What a simpleton.

**Awesome:** *rubs temples* Lemony you realize you're blaming other people for your dumb ideas, right.

**Lemony:** ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU FREAKING WHORE-MONGERS!

* * *

The New Guy

Once upon a time in Karakura Town...

"GIMME THE DAMN REMOTE!"

"I WANNA WATCH DEADLY WOMEN!"

"FUCK YOU BOTH! I'M PLAYING XBOX!"

The Apato Apartments would be a nice place to live...if it weren't for the girls in apartment 13 going at each other's throats. They were arguing again which was no surprise to their neighbors, after all, these ladies fought about four or five times a day.

"GIMME THE FREAKING REMOTE YOU SLUT-MONKEY!" Lee screamed at her sister, "I WANT TO WATCH 'THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS'!"

"Oh right," Her older sister Wani replied rolling her eyes, "You would want to watch that trash. Soap Operas are silly and their plots fall flat...kind of like your novels..."

"You take that back!" Lee hissed,

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU! FUCK!" The eldest sister, Adrian, shouted angrily. "I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT EITHER OF YOU SAYS! I'M PLAYING XBOX!"

There is a story to be told here and it involves these three insane sisters. Let's get to know them. We'll start with the oldest, Adrian Nobel. She was a tall girl, taller than most at 6'1, and she towered over her younger sisters. She was a muscular woman, a bi-product of her rigorous exercise regimen combined with the numerous brawls she'd been in. Adrian had wild red hair that stopped just past her shoulders that was dyed blue at the tips, a set of brooding, chocolate brown eyes, and evenly tanned skin; most likely caused by her constantly being outside playing football in the park. Now, Adrian was a tomboy if there ever was one. She liked fights, hard alcohol, video games, muscle cars, and Rap music. The redheaded older sister had a hooped nose left on her right nostril and a tattoo of a wind dragon taking up most of her right arm. She was also very good with technology, hence her occupation as Manager at a computer repair store. She attended therapy three times a week for her anger management problems. Now what really set this typical tomboy apart was her D-cup sized breasts!

Now lets talk about the middle sister. Wani Nobel was also tall, but not at as tall Adrian, however she had a full head on Lee. She was lean and narrow-shouldered with long legs and a delicate, trim build. Wani, unlike her sisters, was ghostly pale; most likely because she despised sunlight with a great intensity. She preferred to stay inside, far from the light of day, amongst her numerous books. If she wasn't reading, the middle sister was working. What was her job, you ask? Wani was a dental assistant. Shocker isn't it? She had a job where people paid her to cause pain and suffering...that sadist. Almost everything about her was black. She had long, straight black hair that flowed down her back. Her eyes were black as coals and shimmered like onyx. Wani loved silence and solitude. Cold and aloof, the middle sister could always be found locked away in her bedroom with her long nose deep in a book or her boney fingers clasped around a paint brush. Wani took pride in being mean, nasty, and generally unpleasant to be around. Although, her intelligence was profound. Wani had exactly fifteen piercings: both of her ears were pierced from top to bottom, she had belly-button ring, and a tongue ring. Finally her slender face was framed by a set of black, square reading glasses. And of course, she saw a therapist twice a week for her depression.

We get to youngest and the best-looking sister, Lee Nobel. The youngest sister was shorter than almost everyone around her. Standing at a tiny 5'3 Lee was a mini super-model. She had long, curly, luxurious bleach-blonde hair that stretched all the way down to her round, cute butt. Lee had stunning sapphire-blue eyes that sparkled when she when smiled. Lee was probably the happiest of all three them. With her bubbly personality and devilish good looks, Lee was well-liked by everyone around her (with the exception of Wani who hated everyone equally). Sexy as hell and sweet as honey, Lee had to fight the boys off with a stick. Sometimes she wouldn't fight at all, she'd let them fight over her instead. Lee wasn't tall enough to get a modeling contract like she wanted, however she found a job that paid well. She was an assistant for some big CEO at a big company. Of course Lee was hired because of her looks and not her qualifications. The blonde was eye-candy around the office when she wore a short pencil-skirt and skin-tight blouse. Especially since she had a set of perfect, firm, and tender C-cup breasts. It should have been illegal for someone to be a sexy beast like Lee. However, she saw a therapist five times a week to deal with her nymphomania.

Yes these girls all lived in apartment 13. Now, you're probably wondering "why are three girls who are so different living together". The answer to that was simple, they were all adopted sisters who choose to live together after their parents died in a car crash a year ago. Their grandfather, who paid for the apartment, wanted to keep them together so that their sisterly bond would grow stronger.

That was the opposite of what was happening.

Those girls bickered over everything, fought like cutthroats, and from time to time their altercations got psychical.

"GIMME THE DAMN REMOTE, WANI!" Lee hollered jumping up and down as her sister held the remote control high above her head.

"A gimme-gimme never gets." Wani purred relishing in her younger sibling's frustration. Just then, Adrian snuck up behind her and plucked the remote from her hand. Wani whirled around and scowled at the eldest, Adrian smirked triumphantly.

"Shorties don't get to watch TV." The redhead laughed,

"YOU AZTEC BITCH!" Lee shouted, her cheeks turned hot-red from the anger boiling inside of her.

"The term you're looking for is 'Amazon', imbecilic moron." Wani replied rolling her eyes, "Instead of watching TV maybe you should read a book. I can pick one with lots of pictures for you."

"Maybe you should bite me." Lee spat,

"Keeping talking," Wani replied, "Maybe one day you'll say something intelligent."

While those two went back and forth for a moment, Adrian took that time to settle down on the couch, plug in her XBOX and begin playing. Wani and Lee's arguing stopped when they heard the sound of video game noises on the TV. They both turned their heads to see Adrian sitting comfortably in front of the coveted television.

"Oh no she didn't..." Lee said to herself while glaring at the back of her older sister's head. "That big ol' lump of nothing just jacked the TV..."

Wani scowled. "This is unacceptable."

"Shhhh!" Adrian hissed, "Shut the hell up, I'm trying to play."

Nobody knew what happened. The couch was overturned. The TV was busted. The coffee table was smashed. A crumpled heap of female bodies all wrestled and battled around the apartment, fists were flying, hair was being pulled, and insults were being hurled.

"MORONS! YOU'RE BOTH FUCKING IDIOTS!" Wani screeched fisting a handful of Lee's hair and pulling it hard,

"MOTHERFUCKING BASTARDS!" Adrian hollered punching Wani in the gut with all her might,

"WHORE-MONGER, SLUT-MONKEY, HEFFALUMPS!" Lee screamed locking her arm around Adrian's neck and squeezing.

Before all three girls knew it they were tumbling all over the place, destroying their furniture along with their apartment.

_WHAM! BAM! SMACK! CRASH! CRUNCH!_

They were so engrossed in their petty fight the girls hadn't realized they were so close to the front door. It swung open as they tripped over themselves, still cursing and fighting like sailors. They fell into the hall just as someone was passing by and they landed right on top of the poor fellow.

"Ompf!"

All three girls stopped their senseless fighting long enough to look up at the unknown gentlemen. The sisters quickly stood and helped the mystery man to his feet and helped gather the huge cardboard box he was carrying. Lee was the first one to get a good look at him and her tongue nearly rolled out of her mouth onto the floor. He was tall with silver hair, a broad happy-face smile, and narrowed eyes with glints of red light. He was a regular piece of man-candy!

They all gawked at him silently.

"Sorry about that," Lee said sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck, "We got a little carried away."

"It's quite alright," He replied brushing himself off, "It's not every day a guy gets tackled by three beautiful girls."

All three sisters blushed simultaneously. Wani was especially red because of her pale skin.

"I'm Lee," The blonde chirped, sticking out her hand to shake, "And these are my sisters, Ren and Stimpy."

Adrian and Wani shot Lee a sideways glare. If looks could kill she would have been six feet under.

"My _name_ is Wani," The middle sister said extending her hand to the silver-haired stranger, "You have my sincerest apologies for my little sister's childish behavior."

"Hi, I'm Adrian," The redhead then said taking the man's hand,

"I'm pleased to meet you all." He said, "My name is Gin. Gin Ichimaru."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," Wani said politely, "I couldn't help but notice you were carrying a box. Did you just move into apartment 3?"

"Yes I started moving in yesterday," Gin explained, "I wish I could stay and talk, but I have to finish unpacking. I hope to see you all around. Hopefully you won't be tackling me again, but if you do I won't mind..."

The sisters giggled and blushed a little more.

After Gin bid the sisters ado they stood in the hallway staring longingly after him. Lee, of course, was thinking of all sorts of naughty things to do to the new guy. Wani found him to slightly interesting; his demeanor was very aloof and mysterious like hers. Adrian just thought the man had a nice ass.

"Now where were we?" Lee said her train of thought going back to their fight, "Oh right...GIMME THE FREAKING REMOTE!"

"I'm not worried about the remote, Lee..." Wani said still staring down the hallway and licking her lips, "I have more important things to attend to..."

"Like what?": Adrian demanded crossing her arms,

"Figuring out how I can bed that silver-haired stranger," Wani explained with a smirk, Lee and Adrian both furrowed their eyebrows.

"No way!" Lee snapped, "I saw him first!"

"Hey! Hey! Hold the fuck on, Smiley is all mine." Adrian proclaimed.

Lee and Wani looked at her and..."HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Adrian colored and scowled. "Hey! Shut up!"

"You're actually interested in someone?" Lee hooted in disbelief, "When was the last time you went on a date anyway?"

"The Year of the Rat!" Wani chimed in, the two sisters cackled and laughed at their older sibling. Adrian turned an ureal shade of red! She hated it when people laughed at her! She wasn't a clown! She wasn't here to amsue them!

"Fine!" Adrian snapped, "How about this, the first one to sleep with the new guy gets him _and_ the TV. The losers have to be slaves to the winner...for a month."

Wani and Lee stopped laughing immediately and smirked darkly.

Lee upturned her nose; she flipped her blonde hair arrogantly and strutted back into their apartment. "You've got a deal. But let's not forget who's better at getting guys."

Wani snorted and spun on her heel, she followed Lee inside. "The same person who's better at spreading stupidity. And don't count your chickens before they catch, dear sister, I have a few tricks up my sleeve..."

Adrian stood in the hallway with her eyebrows furrowed and her jaw tight.

_"What the fuck did I just do?"_ She thought going back into their apartment and closing the door behind her.

The war over Gin Ichimaru was coming.

Let the games begin...

* * *

**Lemony:** Yeeeaa, Birdie Love Buttons I blame you for this XD.

**Wicked&Awesome:** *glares at Lemony*

**Wicked:** These characters are based off us aren't they?

**Lemony:** *nods*

**Wicked:** Ok...*chases Lemony* I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO USE MY LIKENESS!

**Awesome:** Ummm...ok, I'm not breaking up the fight this time. As far as I'm concerned Wicked has every right to kick your ass for this one, Lemony.

**Lemony:** *runs like hell* HAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU IT'S NOT MY FAULT! HA! LIKE US ON FACEBOOK AND I'LL UPDATE! also...REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

**Lemony:** Yes, updating again.

**Wicked:** I surprised at you. So does this mean our dearest dim-witted smut writer has come out of retirement...?

**Lemony:** Hmm…I'm still not sure yet. I miss fanfiction but at the same time I like working on my original stuff…

**Awesome:** Why don't you just do both, Lemony? I like PlayStation and XBOX so I play them both, like you and Fanfiction and DeviantArt.

**Wicked:** *arches eyebrow*…strangely that made sense…

* * *

The New Guy

She was an eager one, that Lee. She decided the quicker she got Gin hot and bothered, the quicker Adrian and Wani would be her slaves. Young Lee was a pro at attracting men; when she really wanted to, she could have a man wrapped around her little finger by the time a Cup of Noodles was finished cooking. That happened often, Lee would have a man and her lunch. But for Gin…Lee was aiming to land him in record time. The blonde tried to synchronize her watch, but couldn't quite figure out how to, so instead she just decided to work her magic on Gin after she got home for work.

Instead of taking her usual afternoon nap when she got home, Lee ran inside the apartment without so much as word to Adrian who always got home first. Lee figured Wani was locked in her room so she wouldn't bother saying hi to her. Lee practically skipped into her own bedroom and set about searching her closet, throwing clothes around, for something crucial to arousing any man: a skimpy outfit!

The blonde smiled like a Cheshire cat when she found something suitable…

Then the younger sister silently snuck past Adrian, who was in her own little world strumming a red Gibson Flying V guitar on the couch, and into the bathroom. Lee then turned the shower on freezing cold, stripped off her scanty work clothes and stepped inside. Why was she showering `in cold water? Normally Lee hated cold things (with the exception of drinks and ice cream). The blonde's teeth chattered as she stood under the cold spray, the drops of water were colliding against her bare skin like frozen bullets. Lee shivered and shook, as badly as she wanted to hop out she knew had to stay here for a moment. The youngest sister stood in the shower until she couldn't feel her big toes. Finally she stepped out, Lee only dried herself slightly and she was careful to leave a few droplets of cold water on her perfect body.

Carefully, Lee slipped on her skimpy garments and looked herself over in the bathroom mirror. That's when she noticed something missing. The youngest sister looked down at her work clothes which she left in a pile on the bathroom floor. She bent down and picked up her skirt; a tube of shimmering lip gloss fell out the pocket.

Lee grinned and applied a generous amount to her kissable lips. She was about leave when she stopped and looked in the mirror again.

"I'm a sexy beast!" The youngest sister said to herself before laughing and skipping out of the bathroom. When Lee reached the living room she carefully snuck past Adrian who was still quietly playing her guitar and bobbing her head to the sounds.

"Walk this way…talk this way…just gimme a kiss…like this..." The redhead sang softly while strumming the instrument. Lee smirked and crept behind the couch to the front door before silently stepping outside.

Lee grinned like a child who gotten away with stealing cookie. Now all she had to do was wait until she saw Gin. The blonde needn't wait long because the fox-faced man came up the stairs of the hallway holding a small cardboard box in his long arms. Lee's smile stretched until it took up most of her face.

"Well Lee," She whispered to herself, "You're not tall enough to be a model, so let's your test your acting skills…"

With that, she flipped her long hair back and pretended to jog from the other side of the hallway. The minute she jogged past Gin he stopped dead in his tracks to stare at the younger sister.

Clad in nothing but a pink two-sizes-two small sports bra with something written in white letters across the front, teeny-tiny red mini shorts, and white hi-top sneakers Lee looked like a work-out porn star!

Lee stopped in front of Gin and gave him a million-dollar smile, "Oh hey Gin. I didn't see you there."

Gin stopped and smiled at the younger sister.

"Hello Lee," He purred as his eyes racked over her, "Working out?"

"Yes," Lee hummed sexily, spinning slowly to give Gin a front and back view, "What do you think?"

Lee fought the urge to grin when she saw a tongue slide across Gin's lips. Gin was looking down at her full breasts clasp in the itty-bitty pink sports bra. He could see that her nipples were poking out from underneath the fabric. Of course this was the reason why Lee took a cold shower! That clever little she-devil knew men were more likely to stare a wet chest with hard nipples than just cleavage. Then again…most men would stare at anything concerning breasts. But Lee believed seeing nipples is what did it for most guys. Also she purposely left herself a little damp from the shower to make it look like she was sweating a little. The girl was faking exercise…and doing it remarkably well! Gin was trying to read the words written across her oversized chest.

"See something you like?" Lee giggled as he leaned down to get a closer look, Gin quickly cleared his throat.

"I apologize for staring," He purred, "But I'm curious, what does your…er…shirt say?"

Lee smirked. "It says, _Satisfaction Guaranteed_."

"Oh so you like to satisfy?" Gin hummed down to the blonde, Lee batted her eyelashes and licked her glossy lips.

"Yes…" She said, her voice like honey, "I aim to please…"

"Is that right?" Gin replied arching an eyebrow and licking his slender lips once more; Lee bit her lower lip and nodded sexily.

~Meanwhile back inside the sister's apartment~

"What's going on?" Wani demanded stepping out of her bedroom with a scowl on her face. "I sense someone is up to no good…"

The middle sister scanned the apartment only to see Adrian still sitting on the couch with her guitar. Something was not right and Wani could feel it. She had an unnatural talent for knowing when someone was up to something. Her gothic-spidey sense was tingling.

"Adrian, has Lee returned home?" She asked her sister, Adrian looked up and shrugged.

"I think so, I'm not sure." The eldest answered, Wani rolled her eyes so hard she threatened to knock herself out! Was everyone a complete idiot?

"Are you totally oblivious to everything around you?" The black-haired sister spat, Adrian shrugged uncaringly.

"Only when I'm playing guitar…"

Wani let out a huff, stomped over to couch and grabbed Adrian by the hand. "Come on, Lee is up to something…I know it…"

The older sisters had every intention of stalking around Karakura town to find their sibling but they didn't have to. They both stuck their heads out of the front door in a cartoonish manner and peeked around the corner. They saw Lee half naked, talking to Gin, smiling, giggling, and…batting her eyelashes!

"I knew it!" Wani hissed to Adrian, "That sneaky git couldn't even wait twenty-four hours before she began tempting Gin with her charms…"

"That big-tittied, ratched bitch is feeling up my man!" Adrian spat as she watched sexily Lee caress Gin's arm.

They both watched, their blood boiling, as Lee flirted with Gin without a care in the world. After about fifteen minutes worth of talking Lee and Gin departed. The moment the blonde reached her apartment two sets of hands shot out and dragged her inside. Adrian was holding onto the straps of Lee's bra so tight her knuckles were turning white; Wani was standing next her, her teeth clenched in frustration.

"So…" The middle sister said silkily, "You had to parade around like a slut to get his attention, did you?"

Lee could practically see the jealousy seeping out of her sisters. She smirked evilly at them.

"I was just doing what I do best," The blonde replied, and then she furrowed her eyebrows. "Wait…that didn't sound right, can I have a do-over?"

"Listen you little bastard, if you think you're winning this bet you've got another thing coming," Adrian proclaimed, Lee chuckled darkly.

"Really?" She hummed, "Is that why me and Gin have a date this weekend?"

Adrian and Wani's hearts sank. If Lee could get a date with him that fast she'd probably sleep with him and end up winning! Then the older sisters would have to be slaves to her for a month…_and_ lose the TV!

"_Gin and I_," Wani corrected, "It's amazing that you call yourself a writer and you can't even use proper grammar."

"You're just mad because I got a date with Gin first," Lee teased sticking out her tongue, with her newfound arrogance she plucked Adrian's hands away from her sports bra and shooed them away.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to pick out something pretty to wear." Lee said haughtily as she swaggered away, "I can't wait until I use Wani's back as a footrest…"

Wani scowled so hard her face hurt! She had half a mind to catch Lee by the throat and strangle her. What she implied was absolutely insulting! How dare Lee! That bigheaded, conceited, egotistical little chit! Wani didn't know about Adrian, but she would be damned to hell if she let Lee tell her what to do! There wasn't even a word to describe how furious the middle sister was right now! Not only was Lee going to have Gin all to herself but she was aiming to humiliate Wani! A double-whammy!

Adrian could only see Wani's scowl as a sign of her displeasure. Hell, she wasn't too thrilled about this either! If Lee was going to use Wani as a footrest there was no telling what the blonde might do to _her_! She might turn her into a human lamp or something!

"We've got to do something…" Adrian said to Wani who cut her black eyes at her.

"Do not fret, dear sister…" The middle sibling seethed lowly, "Like the great Montresor, I shall reap my revenge on this blonde-haired Fortunato. Lee has ventured upon insult and she shall not receive impunity from me. She will rue this day henceforth…"

Adrian looked at Wani as if she was speaking another language. "So what you mean to say is: we're going get even with that hoochie?"

Wani sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She really was surrounded by idiots. She looked at her older sister with tired eyes.

"Yes," Wani said, "That's what we're going to do."

"Why didn't you just say that?" Adrian asked, Wani felt her face go numb and she sighed once more.

"Listen Adrian," The black-haired sister began, "Leave everything to me. I'll take care of Lee…"

The redhead furrowed her eyebrows, "Ok, just don't hurt her, alright? Remember, she is still our sister."

"Oh I won't hurt her…" Of course Wani was lying through her teeth. Without another word she marched across the living room, snatched her black trench coat off the coatrack, and left.

Adrian stood in the center of the room dumbfounded. She shook her head and flop backwards on the couch.

"_Why did I start this stupid bet?" _

* * *

Wani walked the streets of Karakura town with her hands deep in her coat pockets. Her thoughts kept lingering back to Lee's mocking words. She was going to use her as a footrest? Ha! Wani always thought her sister was stupid, but Lee was downright delusional if she thought that would _ever _happen. But the bigger issue was: how could Wani sabotage Lee's date with Gin? She could tell him that Lee secretly danced to Micheal Jackson in her underwear. Wani shook her head, no that would never work. Gin would probably laugh and dismiss it as a joke. She could put dye in Lee's shampoo and turn her hair green like she did when they were teenagers. No that wouldn't work either; Lee got wise after that experience and now she tested all of her skin and beauty products before using them. Wani shook her head again! No…no…she needed to think outside the box! Get creative! What would really humiliate Lee? It had to be something that happened on her date with Gin…something that would make him think Lee was completely insane.

Wani stopped dead in her tracks when a thought crossed her mind.

Suddenly she smiled like the Grinch who stole Christmas!

The middle sister turned on her heel and headed to a more…seedy part of Karakura town. She drew her collar up as she maneuvered through the streets. This was a bad part of town and the less attention Wani drew to herself, the better. Why was she here, you ask? She was here to visit an…old friend. Quickly, the black-haired sister turned down a dark alley with her coat bellowing behind her. Wani was looking for a metal door…

When she found it, she knocked three times.

It swung open and skinny young man appeared. He had bright pink hair, golden eyes and a pair of white, square glasses. He smiled when he saw Wani standing before him.

"Ah, Wani," Szayel Aporro Granz said smiling down at her, "What can I do for my best customer?"

Wani smirked. She was going to make Lee regret the day she was born!

To Be Continued…

* * *

**Wicked:** I have to wonder just what exactly my character is planning…

**Lemony:** HAHAHAHA! You'll see…wait, I shouldn't be laughing! My character is the one getting hurt!

**Wicked:** Idiot.

**Awesome:** HA! I was playing my guitar? That's fucking awesome! Even though I haven't practiced in six damn years… I want to play it now! Where's my guitar?...REVIEW!


End file.
